It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Im part way to drunk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
