Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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