I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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