And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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