You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
