Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
