I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
