I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
