Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish you could order shots online.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
