yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
