Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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