somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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