in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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