How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
