just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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