whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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