tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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