Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
ok first of all what the fuck
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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