what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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