Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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