when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
