What a fucking waste of an outfit
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
