omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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