fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
