Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
