69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
