I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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