PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
