Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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