just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
