This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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