Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
