your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
