i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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