Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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