Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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