if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
