who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude. I can hear the air.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
