So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
