We're facebook friends in real life
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
