Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
