Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
