i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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