i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
