I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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