He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
