Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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