Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
