$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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