I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
