I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
