had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
