i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
