i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Boobs speak an international language.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
